


The Fun in Dysfunctional

by Monsieur_Grenouille



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/M, Gerard Way is a Sweetheart, Girl!Frank - Freeform, Revenge Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23761540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsieur_Grenouille/pseuds/Monsieur_Grenouille
Summary: Frank just wants to be “the cool mom.”
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 12
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m considering turning my Roomba into an attack Roomba. I wrote this for marilynmansonf–me, since we were talking about children OCs over email and I got inspiration from that.

“Frankie! I’m dying!” Gerard called to his wife from the living room. He was laying on the floor, staring at Theresa lying next to him. He wasn’t dying or even close, but he wanted to see his wife so he used an attention getter. Frankie took her time, so Gerard cried out, “Babe! I’m dying!” 

Frank rolled her eyes. “The real Gerard would never pass up the opportunity to die,” she monotoned. 

Gerard squirmed. “Now I would, since I’m a father and a husband. You guys are to me what death would’ve been to me when I was a teenager.” He sat up, holding his infant daughter in his lap. Theresa cooed softly. Gerard smiled and kissed her forehead. “Yes, Reese. You’re freaking adorable.” 

Frankie sat down behind him, hooking her chin on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his back. “You must’ve had some very nice sperm,” she mumbled. 

Gerard turned his head to meet her gaze. “You’re so weird,” he replied. He closed his eyes and gave her a chaste kiss. Frank smiled and kissed back. 

“I’m so glad you had sex with me,” she whispered. 

Gerard laughed and pushed her by the shoulders lightly. “There are other ways to say _I love our daughter_.” He looked down at the child in his lap. “Although, what you’re saying is considered the other way to say it.” 

Frank kissed his neck. “I can’t believe I’m a mom now. Only a matter of time before I start drinking wine and going to book club.” 

Gerard chuckled, “Being a mom isn’t glorious, is it?” 

Frank sighed, “I think it’s wonderful. I want to be a mom, but I don’t want to _be a mom_. You know what I’m saying? I mean, I clearly can’t be as chill as I used to be, and I gotta quit swearing, but I don’t want to take it too far and be some kind of uncool 90s kid mom. I want to be current, and know all the popular things, just so Theresa doesn’t think I’m some kind of loser in the future.” She wiped at her eyes, “holy shit, I’m crying.” 

Gerard adjusted himself so he was inches away from Frank and leaned his forehead against hers. His fingers curled around her hand, and he caught her eyes in his own. “It’s okay... you don’t have to be a lame mom. Not all moms are lame. I know some pretty cool moms, in fact.” 

Frankie let tears slide down her face. “Who?” she demanded. 

Gerard shrugged. “My daughter’s mom is pretty cool.” He offered a weak smile. 

Frank rolled her eyes. “Who pays you to tell me I’m a good person? Doesn’t lying get you sent to hell or whatever?” She bit her lip. Gerard reached up to cup her face in her hands. Frankie’s eyeliner was smudged, pieces of it streaking down her face. She really didn’t look like a stereotypical mother. She looked like she had it together. The dark circles under her eyes were just normal to begin with, and Gerard had been taking care of Theresa more than most fathers. He just didn’t want to be distant, or have a barrier between him and his daughter. He wanted the best for Theresa, and he knew his wife thought the same. 

“We’re not going to, you know, get divorced or anything, right?” he murmured. Frankie shook her head. 

“I could never do that. Not to you, not to Reese. Are _you_ going to divorce me?” 

Gerard shook his head. “Only if you cheat on me or hurt Theresa.” He gave her another kiss, letting it linger between them. Theresa was still in his lap, interrupting the romantic conversation with sweet babbling. Gerard broke off to set her in her crib, then walked back and got back into the position he was in before. Frankie reached out to grab him, yanking him closer. 

“Hold me,” she commanded, “I’m maternally stressed.” 

Gerard sighed and supported her back. She bowed her head on his shoulder, weeping and shaking. Gerard took a moment to stop and think. He realized he was the only one who actually got to see this side of Frankie, and he didn’t even feel weird about it. The rest of the world saw Francesca Iero as a carefree, destructive, badass girl who didn’t have weaknesses in any way, shape, or form. Around her husband, all that fell down. And now that she was entering motherhood, it was going to come down more often. All Gerard really had to do was comfort her, look after the child, and remember to take care of himself in between. 

Gerard kissed her on the temple, then whispered in her ear, “There’s no effing way we’re gonna be a perfect family. Mostly because it’s _our_ DNA combined, but also because there’s no such thing as a perfect effing family.” 


	2. Prequel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you fantasize about growing up and becoming a father, but then you realize you can’t because you’re a transgender man with no sperm, along with the fact that even if you had sperm the child would be composed of part of your DNA, but the world suffers enough with just one of you.

April 9th, 1990

Gerard sat alone on his doorstep, wiping tears from his eyes. It was his thirteenth birthday — he was finally a teenager — and absolutely no one had shown up. Even his parents were on a date somewhere. His brother, Mikey, was home with him, but Mikey was an eight year old and therefore uncool. Mikey was sitting next to Gerard on the porch, staring at a caterpillar on the sidewalk. 

“Maybe they thought the birthday party was tomorrow?” the younger boy offered. 

Gerard sniffled. “It’s pretty difficult to type April 10 when you want to put April 9.” He frowned and picked at some grass. 

Mikey sighed, “At least you didn’t invite your crush,” he pushed up his glasses and looked Gerard in the eye. “That’d be like a punch in the dick.” 

Gerard narrowed his eyes. “The thing is, I _did_ invite my crush. Secondly, who taught you that word?” 

Mikey shrugged. “I heard you on the phone with Ray.” He kicked his legs innocently. 

“You little son of a– you know what, I can’t stay mad at you. I’ve also never heard the end of that sentence, since dad seems to stop talking whenever he gets to that part. You don’t know what I’m saying, though. Mom and dad never get mad at you.” He rolled his eyes, blowing a strand of dark hair from his eyes. 

Mikey stayed quiet for a second, just until he looked up. His eyes widened. He tugged excitedly at his brother’s arm, stuttering. “G-G-G-G-Gerard! Gerard, l-look!” He flapped his arms a little, squirming in his spot.

Gerard put his hand on Mikey’s wrist. “Michael, calm down. What is it?” 

Mikey was still stimming. “I-I-It’s that girl! Tha-That girl you have a crush on!” He pointed across the street to the girl with long black hair, wide brown eyes, and a green tee shirt. She was squinting at a green sheet of paper, which Gerard recognized as the party invitation. Gerard blushed, his cheeks turning pink. 

“Mikey, go inside and watch TV for a bit. I’ll be inside after I do something.” 

“Whatcha gonna do? Marry her?” Mikey teased. 

Gerard shushed him. “I’m not going to marry her, Mikey! Just go inside now or you’re grounded.” 

Mikey groaned and went inside, mumbling, “And I was told this place was a democracy.” What a wonderful child. It’s almost like Gerard was the main influence on his life. 

Gerard stood up and walked across the street, begging himself to not be weird. Frankie saw him and her eyes lit up. “Hiya Gerard!” she greeted. 

Gerard smiled. “Good, how are you?” It took him a second to realize he had just said the single most awkward thing for a conversation. He tried to cover it up. “S-Sorry. I’m just really stupid, that’s all.” 

Frank shook her head. “Don’t do that, Gerard. The only people who can call you stupid are your best friends, and even they wouldn’t do it. So, uh, which one’s your house?” 

Gerard pointed across the street. “That one. My parents aren’t home today, so I have to watch my brother. Is it okay if he’s in the room with us at all times?” 

Frankie smiled and nodded. “I love little kids! How old?” 

“Eight,” Gerard replied. He reached down and grabbed Frank’s hand. “C’mon, let’s go inside.” He tugged her with him, slamming the screen door shut once they were both inside. Mikey leapt off the couch and ran up to Frank. 

“Hi!” he greeted, “I’m Mikey. Does Gee ever talk about me?” 

Gerard exchanged a look with Frankie. He apologized with his eyes for never talking about his brother, but Frankie shrugged it off and crouched down to talk to Mikey. “Actually,” she said with a grin, “he was just talking about you a few minutes ago.” It wasn’t a lie. Thank god it wasn’t a lie. Mikey’s eyes shimmered as his gaze shifted to Gerard. Gerard smiled shyly and rubbed the back of his neck. 

Frank chuckled softly. “You’re brother’s awesome, dude. Isn’t he awesome?” 

Mikey nodded. “He helps me with my trains! He’s also a really good drawer. He draws superheroes and stuff.”

Frankie smiled. She got back up and faced Gerard. “What did you have planned for tonight?” 

Gerard shrugged and led them over to the couch. “We could watch a movie and eat cake,” he suggested. Mikey sat on the edge of the couch, but Frank curled up right next to Gerard. Her scent was wonderful and intoxicating, and the way she curved her body around him made him feel warm. Gerard whispered in her ear, “You don’t have to do that.” 

Frank put her hand between his shoulder blades and pressed down, like a massage. “Do what?” she murmured. 

Gerard stuck his tongue out at her. Frankie did the same. Mikey groaned and rolled his eyes. “Don’t screw each other while I’m watching!” He squirmed in his seat. Gerard and Frank stopped fooling around and stared each other right in the eyes. They refused to talk, because Frankie was practically on top of him and their noses were inches apart. 

Frankie didn’t get off of Gerard. “Who taught your brother to say that?” she asked. There was a small glint in her eye.

Gerard blushed. This was the first time a girl had ever wanted to be this close to him. “I don’t know,” he said, “He says he hears me on the phone, but I always watch my mouth around that little shit.” 

Frankie glanced over her shoulder at Mikey, who seemed to be taking note of the situation in his mind. She looked back to Gerard. “Exhibit A,” she joked, “Don’t come complaining to me when he says that to his teachers. Then again, you barely complain as-is.” 

Gerard chuckled. He sat up, knocking Frank off of his hips, and grabbed the remote from the armrest. “We should watch a Tim Burton movie,” he said. 

Frank smiled and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “What is it with you and Tim Burton?” 

Gerard was blushing furiously from the kiss, and he could speak. Mikey stood up, saluted them, and walked downstairs to his room without a word. The two teenagers burst into laughter. Frankie bowed her head on Gerard’s shoulder, her hand resting on his chest. They sat normally — but awkwardly — like that while they watched the movie. 

Halfway through, Frank sighed and said, “I’ve never kissed a boy before.” 

Gerard cocked his eyebrow. “As opposed to a girl?” 

Frankie smirked. “I’m not gonna confirm nor deny that. I just need to let you know I’ve never kissed a boy.” 

Gerard blushed, “Well... I’ve never kissed a girl.” 

He and Frank made eye contact. Slowly, they came together for a slow, awkward, gentle kiss. Gerard’s heart was on fire, as it was beating faster than it ever had and his brain was a mess. He pulled back, smiling. He tucked some hair behind Frankie’s ear. “My... my brother asked if I was going to marry you. I-I don’t want to pressure you, so should we start by you being my girlfriend?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clean comments! I know that April 9th, 1990 was a Monday, but just humor me here. I tried. 
> 
> FUN FACT! My own thirteenth birthday also fell on a Monday.


	3. The Period

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frankie’s inner mother comes out during the moment she’s dreaded ever since she gave birth to her daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I’m just weeping alone in the dark while My Chemical Romance blasts from the wooden amplifier I bought from CVS pharmacy. 
> 
> I know, I know. Being original is somewhere on my bucket list, but I still got a little bit of life left. I don’t even have a job yet, so maybe my job will be somewhat new.

Gerard ducked his head into the bedroom, making a beeline for Frankie sitting on the bed. “Hey, uh, Frankie? I can’t do something.” 

Frankie rolled her eyes. “That’s a surprise. What now?” 

Gerard blushed. “It’s, uh... Theresa. She, um, she got her...” he started mumbling towards the end. 

Frank looked up. “Just tell me.” 

“I-It’s uncomfortable. She got her first....” He cleared his throat and whispered, “p e r i o d.” He hid his eyes and coughed. 

Frank’s eyes went wide. She jumped to her feet and ran to the bathroom. Gerard heard puking noises, followed by Frankie banging open the cabinets to find pads. She also grabbed a heating pad, then ran in front of Gerard. “Where is Theresa?” she asked. It sounded like a threat. 

Gerard whimpered, “In her room.” 

Frank nodded, then gave him a kiss. “Don’t talk to her about it,” she whispered against his mouth, “But don’t be weird.” 

Gerard kissed her back. “You are such a good mother, Frankie. Summon me if needed.” 

Frankie laughed, “Don’t worry! We won’t.” She walked briskly out of the room, leaving Gerard to feel quite useless as he stood in the hallway. 

*******************************

Frankie knocked on the teenager’s door. “Baby?” she soothed, “It’s just mom.” 

Theresa opened the door, immediately hugging Frankie as tight as she could. “It hurts so much,” she whimpered, “I feel like my side is dying and I might throw up.” 

Frankie sighed and cupped her daughter’s face in her hands. She kissed Theresa’s forehead and said, “I threw up as soon as Dad told me what was up with you. Why’d you tell him first?” Theresa led her mother to her bed and laid down. Frankie took the opportunity to plug in the heating pad and put it on the Medium High setting. She pressed it to Reese’s stomach and laid down to spoon her, stroking her hair softly. “Tell me if that’s too hot, okay?”

Theresa choked out a sob. “O-Okay, mom. Thanks,” she whimpered quietly and curled into her mother’s chest. “I’m told that I’m going to be...” 

Frankie smirked. “Bitchy?” 

Theresa chuckled. “Y-Yeah. So, if I lash out at you or Dad, please call me out on it. I don’t want to be a jerk or anything.” 

Frank kissed her daughter’s cheek. “Sometimes, the world is tough and kind of a jerk. And sometimes on top of that, people are jerks, too. And on your period, all these small disruptions seem to be magnified, so the least you can do is point out that it sucks. You can’t keep quiet, love. Part of being a person with rights is standing up for what you believe in. If you believe the world sucks, then you have every right to say it.” 

Theresa smiled. “Thanks, mom.” 

Frankie sighed. “However, if you’re mad at something and take it out on your dad or me, then we’ll call you out on it. It’s important to talk about your feelings and–“ 

“Mo-om!” Theresa rolled her eyes. 

Fran continued, “Reese, I’m saying something valuable. Not talking about your feelings can result in some pretty awful stuff, like deep depression or suicide.” 

Reese fidgeted. “I’m not going to commit suicide.” 

Frank sighed again. “It runs in the family. Your dad and I made it through, though. We’ll be here for you no matter what.” 

Reese stayed quiet. She took her time to understand, Frankie holding her close. After a few minutes, she spoke again. ‘C-Can you show me how to use a pad?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clean comments.   
>  on“It’s juwhim

**Author's Note:**

> Clean comments!


End file.
